Building a Bulletproof Mindset Part 3

In last week’s addition of the Survivor to Thriver Newsletter, I discussed principle number two of six (self-awareness, ownership, consistency, gratitude, catharsis, and challenge), Ownership. 

In this week's article, I’m going to discuss principle 3, Consistency.  

“Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.” – Aldous Huxley, Do what you will: Twelve essays 

According to Merriam-Webster, consistent means “1 a : marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity : free from variation or contradiction.” 

What sticks out to me in this definition is the word harmony. Consistency is marked by harmony.

When I think of harmony, I think of different instruments playing in unison to make beautiful music. It’s a calm, exciting feeling.  

To bring harmony to your life when you’ve experienced a past of sexual abuse or trauma, you must have consistency. You must be consistent with facing your past.  

Over the 20 years I suffered from depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, etc., I was inconsistent with addressing my past.  

I was inconsistent with using tools I learned in books, articles, or podcasts to heal. I would learn something, apply it for a few days, get a high from the change I made, then fall right back into my regular habits.  

Why? Because I wanted comfort.

The change I was trying to make felt foreign to me. I didn’t like it. 

That’s the scary part. We will run back to comfort even if it’s the thing that’s killing us. 

I would close myself off, feel the stress of trying to change, and abandon the progress. I was a yo-yo self-help guru. 

My life started to change, I’m talking lasting change, when I started being consistent with addressing my past.  

The first step for me in this process was journaling about my past abuse on a regular basis.

I started getting consistent with writing about what happened to me.

I started getting more comfortable with the fact that I was sexually abused when I was younger. 

This changed everything for me.  

I started to feel empowered.  

I started realizing that it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t haven’t anything to be ashamed about, and there were others hurting like I was.  

After I started journaling consistently, I was able to talk about it openly without getting angry or feeling the shame.

This was a huge breakthrough for me.  

In the past, when I started talking about my abuse, I would get angry and start feeling all those negative feelings start rushing back. I would stop talking about it and walk off. 

Now, I can talk about it openly and it doesn’t cause those negative feelings to start rushing back. It is life changing.  

Now, I’m sharing my story on social media. I never thought in a million years I would be doing this today. 

I’m on a mission to change the stigma around sexual abuse. 

I don’t want victims to feel bad, dirty, embarrassed, or ashamed to talk about their trauma. 

I’m tired of hearing about people taking their lives because of what someone did to them. 

I want to coach those that need a mentor.

I want to use my experience to prevent others from going through what I went through.

My goal is to start empowering other to live the life they were meant to live.  

I didn’t have that when I was trying to heal. I didn’t have a mentor or someone that had been through what I was going through to lead me. 

I am going to change this.  

That is my mission. 

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this newsletter! It means a lot to me!