Do What Makes You Feel Good is Terrible Advice

I used to do what made me feel good in the moment.

Do you know where this got me?

It kept me stuck in the same negative loop for about 20 years.

What made me feel good was avoiding the trauma caused by sexual abuse.

What made me feel good was drinking and playing poker.

What made me feel good was zoning out and watching football.

What made me feel good was not taking accountability for my life.

What made me feel good was playing the victim and making excuses.

All of these things made me feel good in the moment but caused me more pain in the long run.

So, “doing what made me feel good” never did anything good for me.

I want to make it very clear that it won’t do any good for you either.

I want you to take a moment and think about the things you do every day that make you feel good but are not helping you grow or get better.

Next, take a moment and think about the things that you’re avoiding or the things that you know you should be doing that are going to be what’s best for you.

If you’re not sure, that’s okay, this will be a good time to start thinking about the things you should be doing that will make you better.

It’s usually the things you’ve been avoiding.

If you want to start turning into the ideal vision of yourself, start doing what makes you uncomfortable.

There’s a good chance that if something makes you feel uncomfortable, then you should probably do it.

It’s Not Going to Be Easy

I’m stating the obvious here, but when you choose the path of discomfort, it’s not going to be easy.

I’m reminding you of this obvious fact because we still (including myself) have these unrealistic expectations when we decide to start pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone.

Intellectually, we know it’s going to be tough, but we expect it to go smooth.

We expect to show up and be able to breeze through the discomfort with no bumps along the way.

We must be careful to manage our expectations when we decide to get outside of our comfort zone.

I believe unrealistic expectations is a big reason why many will start something but give up way too soon.

For me, this has been with starting my coaching business.

I knew it was going to be tough when I finally decided to make it happen.

It got me way outside of my comfort zone.

However, for some reason I didn’t expect it to be this hard.

I had to reflect on that and make sure I keep my mind right.

I have to guard against the negative thoughts that bombard me every day.

You know the usual, “What make you think you can do this,” “You’re not made to do this,” “It’s not going to work out,” and on and on and on.

We must push back against this bullshit.

We must expect these thoughts to attack us and be ready to push back with positive thoughts.

Prove yourself wrong.

I’m out to prove myself wrong.

Discomfort is a Choice

Bottom line, you have a choice to make.

You can continue to choose the easy, comfortable option, or you can choose the discomfort.

Discomfort is the ultimate form of personal growth.

That’s right, discomfort is the path to becoming your best self.

I don’t care what it is, it can be anything that gets you out of your comfort zone.

When you start to make a habit out of doing things that make you feel uncomfortable, you’ll notice that it becomes easier and easier.

Why? Because you’re growing and no longer the same person you were yesterday.

As you continue to grow, you’ll realize how powerful it is to continue to challenge yourself.

Find Your “Why”

It’s so important when you decide to start taking the path of most resistance instead of least resistance, that you have a strong reason why you’re doing it.

For example, my coaching business for me is my source of healing and it’s my way of trying to help others that were victims of sexual abuse.

I have a strong “why” for starting my coaching business.

You must sit down and take the time to figure out your “why.”

You must have such a strong “why” that it’s your source of strength when you’re feeling weak.

It’s so strong that when you want to give up all you have to do is focus on that “why” and you still show up and put in the work.

The next time you decide to do something that makes you feel good in the moment, think twice and go do something you don’t want to do.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

To schedule a free 15-minute discovery call, visit my website at marktoner80.wixsite.com/survivor-to-thriver