"Find Yourself" To "Finding Yourself"

Alright, stick with me here.

I’m pretty passionate about this subject and I might start going in one direction and then take you in another, but hang on!

When I retired from the Navy in May of 2022 after 22 years, I had gone further than I had ever thought I would, just got done with a tour on the USS NIMITZ where I was in charge of 140 Sailor’s and faced the most difficult logistics challenges due to COVID, and I was ready to get out and conquer the world.

However, I had no idea what I wanted to do and felt like I didn’t know who I was.

It was a pretty tough pill to swallow.

This wasn’t because the military turned me into a robot and that I couldn’t think for myself and was only used to being told what to do all the time……I digress, back to the article.

This really bothered me, and I felt lost. 

I was a little angry as well; I had spent all of this time serving my country only to get out and realize I had no idea who the hell I was or what the hell I wanted to do.

I really want to stress this point because there are many others out there that feel the same way.

Many of you reading this article may feel lost and like you don’t know who you are or what the hell you are doing here on earth.

It’s okay if you do, it’s normal, but I’m going to show you how to look at this differently.

So, at that point in my life, I felt like I should have known what I wanted to do and should have definitely “found myself”.

First, let’s take a look at the phrase “find yourself”.

What does it really mean to “find yourself” and do you ever “find yourself?”

Let’s answer the question above first before we get into what it means to “find yourself”.

The answer to the question “Do you ever find yourself?” is NO!

It’s NO! NO! NO! NO and NO!

Okay, now that we took care of that, let’s move on to the definition of “find yourself”.

The phrase “find yourself” implies there’s a final destination, there’s an end.

Here’s the thing, a little secret if you will, we never “find ourselves.”

I’m going to use a tool called reframing here.

Reframing is where you take something that’s negative and put a positive spin on it.

It’s a way of getting out of your negative thinking and into positive thinking.

With that being said, I’m going to stop using the phrase “find yourself” and start using the phrase “finding yourself.”

The phrase “finding yourself” is an action phrase.

“Finding yourself” implies that there’s constant action, and not a final destination.

This means that you don’t have to feel like your lost or behind in life because you haven’t “found yourself”.

You are constantly “finding yourself” and doing this by taking action.

Does this make sense?

Stop and let this sink in for a minute.

You are not supposed to “find yourself” but continue “finding yourself”.

Stop looking at it as a definite, like it all just clicks one day, and start looking at it as a journey, a constant journey of growth where you get to know yourself a little better every day.

I mentioned the other key ingredient above, growth.

Look at “finding yourself” as an opportunity for growth.

You continue “finding yourself” by putting yourself in situations where you’re going to get better, challenge yourself, feel uncomfortable, etc.

This is how you continue “finding yourself”.

You see, I had it all wrong when I retired from the Navy.

I learned a lot about who I was during my time in the Navy, but I wasn’t done.

That wasn’t the end.

It was time to embark on new journey’s where I would continue to find out more about myself.

It wasn’t just when I got out of the Navy where I felt lost and that I didn’t know who I was.

I had this problem for most of my life dealing with my trauma from sexual abuse.

Everywhere I looked, it seemed like so many people had their sh*t together.

I was constantly comparing myself to others; other people that I didn’t even know.

Here’s the thing, even the most successful people in the world haven’t found themselves.

However, what sets them apart is that they are constantly taking action and learning new things about themselves.

They are getting out there and facing challenges, finding out who they are a little more every day.

I don’t care if you’re 18 or 80, stop believing the lie that you are lost and need to “find yourself.”

You have to start looking at it as a journey and that you will be “finding yourself” until the day you die.

This is a good thing.

It’s exciting and it’s a journey.

Your life is going to be full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and you have to remind yourself to enjoy it all.

Learn to be present and continue “finding yourself.”

Stay positive and take action!

Mark

P.S. I’m so thankful for your support! Thank you for reading!