I Used to Live in the 'What If's.' Not Anymore.

I’ve gotten away from doing my morning “declaration,” and when I skip it, my mind starts to wander. That’s when the old patterns show up:

• When will the roof need to be replaced?

• How much will that cost?

• Will I still have my job six months from now?

• What else is going to break in the house?

And on and on it goes. The list can get endless.

I used to live this way all the time. I was a nervous wreck and didn’t even realize it. My wife had to point it out to me, and she had plenty of examples to back it up. If someone was coming over at a certain time, I would pace by the window and constantly look outside to see if they were here yet. I hated surprises, and for me, even someone knocking on the door unexpectedly felt like a threat.

Looking back, I’m still not sure how I made it through most of my military career with so much unaddressed trauma. Honestly, it had to be God.

Now I understand what was happening all those years:
I was living in survival mode.
All that anxiety was my brain trying to protect me, trying to create safety in uncertainty.

Even today, there are things I prefer, like facing the door in a restaurant or sitting in an aisle seat on a plane. If something goes down, I want to be able to do something about it. I want to give myself and everyone around me a chance.

But here’s the difference now:
I’m not filled with anxiety waiting for something to happen.
I can be present and actually enjoy the moment while still being prepared.

That’s what healing has done for me.

Make no mistake, this doesn’t mean I never get anxious. It means I’m aware of it. I can regulate it. I don’t let it take over my mind or dictate my day. I don’t live in the “what ifs” anymore.

Healing is a journey, not a destination. There’s no point where we “arrive.” We keep showing up. We keep getting a little better each day. We fight instead of running away or letting trauma consume us.

That’s the difference now. We fight and we keep showing up.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.

NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. I want it to be a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.