The lies run deep.

We hear phrases all the time like:

And while there is truth in those statements, I think there’s another side to the conversation that many people don’t fully understand.

What happens when you’re not even aware of what you’re doing before you do it?

What happens when you don’t understand why you react the way you do?

What happens when your behaviors are being driven by survival patterns you didn’t consciously choose?

Sometimes trauma survivors repeat behaviors, reactions, and patterns over and over again without fully understanding what’s happening underneath it all. From the outside, it may look careless, selfish, detached, or even malicious.

But often, that’s not the intention at all.

For many years, I felt powerless against my own patterns. I kept repeating behaviors I didn’t fully understand. I knew how it looked to other people, and that created even more shame inside me. It probably looked at times like I didn’t care or wasn’t trying.

But that was never the truth.

I was surviving.

My nervous system was running survival programs that had been built and reinforced through trauma over many years. These reactions had become automatic long before I was ever consciously aware of them.

That doesn’t mean we avoid accountability or responsibility for our actions. Healing still requires ownership, self-awareness, and growth. But I also believe we need more compassion and understanding for what unresolved trauma can actually do to a human being.

Trauma can shape:

And many of these things operate beneath conscious awareness for years.

That’s why healing often begins with awareness.

Not shame.
Not self-hatred.
Not believing you’re broken.

Awareness.

Because once you begin understanding why you do what you do, you can slowly begin changing the patterns that no longer serve you.

Trauma does some wicked shit to a person.

Thank you for your support!

Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.

NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. It’s a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.

If this newsletter has help you in any way, please share it with someone you know that may be struggling.