Nothing about trauma is logical.
What does that mean?
When something as devastating as sexual abuse happens, our nervous system responds the way it has to in order for us to survive. That's why healing isn't primarily logical, it's neurological.
Logic says:
"If you want different, do different."
But trauma doesn't work that way.
Your amygdala doesn't suddenly stop being hypersensitive because you understand that it's irrational. Your nervous system doesn't simply switch off survival responses because they no longer make sense.
If healing were that simple, we would all be healed much faster.
Logic says:
"It wasn't your fault."
"You didn't deserve it."
And those statements are true.
But healing isn't as simple as repeating those phrases over and over until we believe them.
The truth must be experienced, not just understood.
Our nervous system has to feel safety.
Our body has to learn that the danger is over.
Our brain has to experience something different than what it learned during the trauma.
That's why healing takes time.
It's not about convincing yourself with logic.
It's about creating enough safety, awareness, connection, and healing experiences for your nervous system to begin updating what it believes about the world and about you.
When it comes to trauma, forget the idea that healing should be logical.
It's neurological.
In many ways, that realization brought me relief.
For years, I couldn't understand why I kept struggling with the same thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I knew what was true intellectually, but I couldn't seem to feel it.
Now I understand why.
My nervous system was still carrying the burden of survival.
What's interesting is that even as I sit here writing this, I can still feel the old lies trying to creep in.
"Was it really that bad?"
"Are you just making excuses?"
"Maybe you're overreacting."
Those thoughts still show up from time to time.
The difference now is awareness.
I notice them.
I recognize them for what they are.
I don't automatically believe them anymore.
I can acknowledge them and let them pass instead of allowing them to take over.
That's the power of healing.
Not that the thoughts never appear again, but that they no longer control the narrative.
I know the truth now.
And the truth really can set you free.
Thank you for your support!
Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.
NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. It’s a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.
If this newsletter has help you in any way, please share it with someone you know that may be struggling.
