Perspective Matters

“Reality is a question of perspective.” - William Blake

Warning: Before reading this newsletter, I want to let you know that there is more cussing in this one. I didn’t hold back and wanted to express my emotion through my words and that means more cuss words (I am a Sailor after all).

I always like to start out defining the thing that I’m writing about so that we’re all on the same page.

This week, I was thinking a lot about perspective and how important it is to our personal growth.

According to Merriam-Webster, perspective is, “the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed, in other words, our point of view.

I think “point of view” sums it up pretty well for me.

It’s the story we tell ourselves about something or the lens through which we view something.

You see, the same event can happen to five different people and each of them can have a different “perspective” of that event.

One area where our perspective can really matters is when it comes to personal growth.

When it comes to personal growth, it must be intentional.

It’s not going to be easy to break free from our bondages and become who we want to become.

It’s definitely not going to be easy when we don’t have the right perspective about things.

This is especially difficult when you have trauma you're dealing with from the past.

We develop trauma identities and our perspective shifts to align with these identities.

We’re in protective mode all the time and do not see the opportunities all around us.

I was stuck in my trauma identity for many years and my perspective reflected this identity.

Let’s cut the shit, it’s fucking hard.

Changing your life, healing from trauma, becoming the person you want to become is fucking hard and it’s going to be a tough journey.

You’re going to have so many days that are down, and then you’re going to have so many days that are up.

It’s a fucking roller coaster and it’s going to be hard.

I’m not going to pretend and say, “you can do it, just stay positive and have a great perspective and everything is going to work out for you in the end.”

No, it may not work out for you in the end if you cannot keep pushing through on those tough days.

It may not work out for you in the end if you decide to quit every time it gets difficult.

I fucking quit over and over again when it got difficult and here I am 30 years after my trauma living the best life I’ve ever lived and looking forward to the future.

However, I still have those very tough days.

I have days where I want to throw in the towel and quit all this bullshit.

I have days where that negative voice is very loud and telling me, “Mark, you should just quit while your ahead. You should just stick to your regular job and stop trying to coach people. It’s not going to happen.”

I have those days all the time.

I have a choice just like you do; I can choose to listen to that voice, or I can keep pushing forward and tell that voice to fuck off.

So far, I’ve told that voice to fuck off and I want to help you tell your negative voice to fuck off as well.

I know this newsletter started out in one tone and now it’s taken on another tone entirely, but I’m writing from the heart right now and I’m agreeing with you that life is fucking hard, period.

We must decide every day if we’re going to let it beat us down and hang our head in defeat, or if we’re going to let it beat us down and look back at it, smile, and say, “Is that all the fuck you’ve got?”

This is perspective in a nutshell.

It’s looking at those challenges that life throws at you, smiling, and knowing that those challenges are making you stronger.

It’s being thankful that you have those challenges in your life because they are going to strengthen you and take you to places you never thought you’d go.

We get better, stronger, and more confident through the challenges and not sitting on the fucking couch staying comfortable.

Each and every one of you has this in you.

I have it in me and I’m fighting for it now every day.

It’s a fucking battle every single day and that’s how you must look at it.

When you wake up every morning, you’re choosing to go to battle with the mentality that you’re going to fucking win.

You’re going to fucking win today, you’re going to kick life in the nuts and win.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with my coaching business.

I haven’t been seeing the progress I’ve been wanting to see in different areas.

I knew going into this that it was going to take longer than I thought, and it was going to be more difficult than I thought.

I have a choice between two different perspectives:

1) I can focus on how hard it is and continue to question if I should be moving forward with this or if I should just stick to my regular job.

2) I can smile and know that when it gets most difficult, the breakthrough is around the corner and now is the time to push even harder.

I’m going with option number 2.

I’m tired of life beating me down.

I spent much of my best years in a fucked-up state of mind because of what some fucking piece of shit did to me when I was younger and I’m not going to let that stop me anymore.

I know what I’m going after, I’m trying to help those that are struggling right now with what I struggled with for so many years.

I have a vision, and that vision is important to me.

Perspective is a choice and that’s what I’m trying to tell you today.

You can always look at your situation through two different lenses.

You can look at it through the “poor me I’m never going to do anything good with my life lens,” or you can look at it through the “these challenges I’m facing now are going to build me into who I need to become to be the person I want to be lens.”

The choice is yours.

You see we can make up any story we want to keep us going in life and that’s the beauty of perspective.

There’s no right or wrong answer.

I know you have it in you to face your challenges in the face, smile, and keep going knowing that it’s making you stronger.

Don’t ever give up.

Stay positive and take action!

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