My, how things change over the years.
At least they have for my family, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.

So many families repeat the same patterns year after year:
the same holiday gatherings, the same food, the same arguments.
Over and over again.

Being in the military prevented that for us.
And now that we’re out, we’ve made a conscious choice to keep things from becoming stagnant.

This is our first Thanksgiving back in Virginia, this time in southwest Virginia.
It’s wild to think about all the places we’ve lived and everything we’ve experienced together as a family.

We refuse to stay where we don’t want to stay.

I’m proud of us, especially Sarah and I, for not settling in Texas just because it would have been easy. We had a plan, and we exceeded it by six months. I love that we did that.

I’m loving it here.

Yes, we tripled our mortgage rate.
Yes, we paid more for this home.
And yes, it was worth it.

Most people wouldn’t have made that decision based on the numbers alone. But we felt God had a plan for us, and it worked out. This, to me, is what life is all about.

Most people never get to experience this kind of life because they stay in what’s familiar and comfortable.

I really wanted to believe Texas was “it.”
At first, it felt right. We were close to family again. We had a great house with plenty of land. Life was good… for a while.

But slowly, we realized Texas wasn’t the place for us.

It would have been so easy to stay.
So easy to make excuses.
So easy to settle.

We could have had a decent life there, but it would have been filled with regret later on.

Now, as I sit in my office watching snowflakes fall, with temperatures in the teens, surrounded by green grass, mountains, and trees, I feel grateful. We’re close enough to convenience, yet far enough to truly get away from life. It’s a beautiful place to live.

I don’t think any of this would have been possible if I hadn’t started my healing journey.

I probably would have fought to stay in Texas. I don’t know. But I’m glad I didn’t find out.

When you’re no longer stuck in survival mode, just trying to make it through each day, things begin to open up. When you’re in survival mode, the smallest change can send your whole day spiraling. It’s hard to enjoy the moment when all you want is for it to pass. It’s hard to enjoy the present when the past keeps pulling you back.

It’s especially hard when thoughts of ending your life creep in because you’re ashamed of who you are.

This is the reality for someone who’s been through trauma, especially sexual abuse.
It destroys you.
It guts the person you were meant to be.
It convinces you that you are the problem.
And it torments you relentlessly.

But we don’t have to live like this forever.

We can heal.
We can become who we were always meant to be.

I can’t promise this will be easy.
I can’t promise a 12-step process or a six-month program that magically fixes everything.

That’s not how healing works.

It’s an individual journey and it’s one you have to choose, knowing it’s going to be hell. You have to go through hell to get where you want to go.

That means facing your past.
That means processing the trauma you couldn’t before, because your nervous system was busy trying to keep you alive.

This journey is not for the weak.
And you are not weak.

You’ve survived something most people never experience—and many don’t make it back from. You’re still here. You have the strength to heal.

Healing happens one step at a time, with compassion.
It’s never about perfection.
It’s about progress.
Slow… slow progress.

There will be days when it feels like you’re reliving everything.
You’ll want to quit.
You’ll want to go back to how things were, even though they weren’t good.

That’s normal.

Just decide that no matter how messy it gets, you’re going to keep going.

This time of year is hard for a lot of people. It used to be especially hard for me. If you have bad days, allow them. They’re part of the process, and they’ll still happen even as you heal.

Don’t stop.
Keep fighting.

You’re not failing, you’re learning.
You’re taking action, falling, learning, getting back up, and fighting again.

Celebrate your wins, always.
Don’t forget them.

When you’re at your lowest, when you want to quit, when everything feels pointless, remember why you started. Use those wins as fuel. Use them as proof that you’re healing.

There is a warrior spirit inside of you.
It’s in there.

And you’re going to tap into it.

You’ve got this.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.

NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. I want it to be a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.