Saturday Morning Mindset: Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism

We often speak more harshly to ourselves than we would to anyone else. Healing requires learning new inner language, one of compassion.

You cannot heal from trauma when you’re using self-criticism. Self-criticism wires your brain to believe the trauma was your fault, that you’re weak, and that you should be over it by now. It keeps you in survival mode and triggers shame, stress, and nervous system activation, your brain thinks you’re under threat, even when you’re not. We cannot and will not heal in this type of environment.

On the other hand, self-compassion activates the body’s soothing system (parasympathetic nervous system), lowering cortisol and creating safety in the body. It helps create new neural pathways, when you practice kindness instead of criticism, you teach your brain that you deserve safety, care, and healing. Instead of “I’m broken,” the voice becomes, “I’m hurting, but I’m healing.” This mindset opens the door for resilience and post-traumatic growth.

Trauma often makes the world feel unsafe. Self-compassion gives you a safe base within yourself.

I tried the self-criticism route for many years, and it kept me stuck, hopeless, depressed, full of shame, and wondering if I was ever going to change. Since I’ve started my healing journey, I’ve committed to leaning on self-compassion and talking to myself and treating myself like I would a best friend. I deserve this and so do you.

Remember, healing is a journey, and it requires learning and/or re-learning. The first step is recognizing your inner voice, how you’re speaking to yourself. When you recognize it, you can change it, when your inner-critic starts speaking.

You can do this; you can change your inner dialogue. Trauma has us believing that it was our fault, that something’s wrong with us, that we’re the problem. That’s a lie. It’s not your fault, nothing’s wrong with you, and you’re not the problem. However, only you can make this change. Only you can heal from your trauma and continue to heal.

Reflection Question: How do you usually talk to yourself when you make a mistake? When we make mistakes, this is usually when our worst inner critic starts to come out and talk the loudest.

Action Step: The week, write a kind “note to self” as if you were speaking to a dear friend. You can take this a step further; speak kind words to yourself in the mirror every morning. It’s going to feel awkward at first, like you don’t deserve it, or that it’s not true, but if you can keep practicing, it will start to pay off.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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