Saturday Self-Study

Fear is not weakness, but fear is not going away.

It’s a survival response rooted in your nervous system, designed to protect you.

For survivors of trauma, fear can become a default setting, I know it was for me, that says, “Don’t trust,” “Don’t move,” or probably the biggest one for me, “It’s not safe to change.”

You’ll be glad to know that fear is not the enemy, but trying to avoid fear is.

When we avoid fear, we shrink.

We stay small.

We give fear more power than it deserves.

I gave into fear for many years, preventing me from healing.

Healing begins when we gently turn toward it, with curiosity instead of shame.

Fear is often guarding old wounds. I know this was true for me.

Fear brought me back to feelings powerless, vulnerable, and hurt.

When I made the decision to start my healing journey for the last time, I realized that I could deal with my fear and no longer allow it to keep me comfortable.

There are tools out there to help you deal with fear, and I’m going to share one of them with you below.

It’s called the Realistic, Adaptive, Positive-Thinking Framework (RAP).

The goal when using the RAP Framework is to pause and explore your fear when it shows up and not fight it.

Here’s how it works, when fear shows up, ask yourself the following:

1) What is the fear trying to tell me?

2) Is it accurate or helpful?

3) Is there another way to look at this?

Next, instead of “I can’t handle this,” consider:

1) I’ve handled hard things before.

2) It’s OK to feel afraid and move forward.

3) Maybe this is about trusting myself more than knowing everything.

The bottom line: fear is NEVER going away.

It’s built into our nervous system and designed to protect us when necessary.

You must learn how to deal with it better and not allow it to keep you comfortable or control your life.

Another recommendation I have is to keep a “Wins Journal.”

You can keep your “Wins Journal” on your phone or in a notebook.

Take note of ALL the small or big wins you have for the day.

Watch how these wins will start to accumulate.

When you are experiencing fear, turn to your “Wins Journal” to help you gain confidence in your ability to move forward despite your fear.

Let’s not let fear stop us from growing and healing anymore.

Stay positive and take action!

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