Some Thoughts From The Week: Healing Isn't About Having It All Figured Out; Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Is Trying to Forget; And Finding Peace In The Stillness

Healing Isn’t About Having It All Figured Out

Healing doesn’t mean and it will never mean that you have it all figured out. It’s anything but that. None of us have it all figured out. Even the most successful people in the world are still figuring things out every single day.

Healing is about having the courage to participate in your own life, to start figuring things out even in the face of fear and self-doubt.

I’ll be the first to tell you from experience: fear and self-doubt never completely go away. When I was struggling with my trauma, they ran the show. They decided what I did and didn’t do.

But once I started healing, their grip on my decisions began to loosen. The more I stepped out in spite of fear and self-doubt, the more power I found within myself.

That was a game changer for me.

You are capable of so much more than you realize. Your trauma may have tried to rob you of that truth, but it’s still inside you. It’s up to you to activate it, to step into your power, and to start finding the version of you that trauma tried to hide.

Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Tries to Forget

As I struggled with my trauma for many years, I would often experience this “weird feeling” deep inside, one I couldn’t explain.

Even now, it’s hard to describe exactly what it felt like, but I finally understand where it was coming from.

That feeling would show up most often in uncomfortable situations, moments where I felt vulnerable or trapped, unable to escape.

Author Bessel van der Kolk, in his powerful book The Body Keeps the Score, explains that when we experience trauma, especially something as violating as sexual abuse, our brain and body store that experience in a nonverbal, sensory way.

For years, I thought I had moved on from my abuse. I told myself I was fine. I even went through the legal process; my abuser went to trial and was sentenced to prison. I thought that meant I had closure.

But that “weird feeling” kept coming back.

Even though I had “moved on” mentally, my body was still carrying the experience. I hadn’t processed the emotions that had been locked inside for decades.

When I finally began my healing journey, something changed. As I faced my trauma head-on and started to process those buried emotions, that strange feeling began to fade.

Before I started healing, I was stuck, my body was still living in the past. Each time I faced a situation that made me feel vulnerable, my body reacted as if the abuse was happening all over again.

That’s survival mode.

For the longest time, I didn’t realize that trauma lives in the body. I thought it was all in my head. But I’ve learned that your mind and body are deeply connected.

You can try to bury the memories or avoid the pain, but your body still remembers, until you give it a chance to release and heal.

Finding Peace in the Stillness

It’s hard for me to get still and quiet.

I try to do it, but 30 seconds feels like three hours. I start by taking a few deep breaths, inhale for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale for eight. It’s a simple practice, but it’s powerful.

For me, it’s about slowing down and letting my thoughts settle. It’s about not letting distractions dictate what I do next, and instead, intentionally pausing, settling, and paying attention to what’s happening inside my head.

We get so used to the chaos that we start to crave it. We fill our lives with noise and activity when what we really need is stillness.
What we really need is to get quiet with ourselves, to just be:

• Be in the moment.

• Be in the silence.

• Be in the stillness.
  But simply — be.

I’ll be honest, I don’t do this enough. It’s always on my mind, something I “plan” to do consistently, but it often gets pushed aside for things that don’t really matter for distractions.

When we fail to recognize what’s happening within ourselves, we fail to heal.

Healing requires looking inward, taking the time to notice what we’re thinking and feeling, and reflecting on it.
And we do this best in silence, free from distractions.

For years, I was afraid of the silence.
I wanted anything but stillness.
I didn’t want to sit with my thoughts or pay attention to what I was feeling.

Now, I understand that silence is necessary.
It’s not something to fear, it’s something to embrace.

It’ll take time to make this a consistent practice, but I know it’s worth it.
Because true healing comes from simplicity, not from adding more, but from doing less.

Peace and healing will never be found externally, not until they are first found internally.
And it all starts from within.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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