I know there are many people out there who didn’t grow up with loving and supportive parents. My parents weren’t perfect, hell, I’m not perfect either, but they loved me, provided safety, and were always there for me. Many people never had that from day one.
Some were born into environments filled with dysfunction, instability, and trauma. They entered the world already in survival mode before they ever had a chance to simply be children. That breaks my heart because it’s not right, and it’s not fair.
We hear the phrase all the time:
“Life isn’t fair.”
Usually, it’s followed by:
“Get used to it. The world’s not fair.”
And while there is truth to that statement, there’s another truth we don’t talk about enough:
A child born into trauma and dysfunction truly did not get a fair start in life.
Yet so many survivors grow up carrying blame for what happened to them and for the struggles they still face today because of that trauma. They begin believing lies about themselves:
“I’m broken.”
“I’m a mistake.”
“I’m not worth it.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
But these are lies.
Your nervous system begins learning from the moment you enter the world. It co-regulates with your caregivers and environment from day one. Those caregivers either help your nervous system develop through safety, love, stability, and connection, or they teach your nervous system survival through fear, unpredictability, neglect, or trauma.
When survival becomes the environment, the nervous system adapts accordingly.
It builds neural pathways designed to protect you. It reinforces survival responses because, at one point, those responses were necessary. Over time, those patterns become deeply wired and automatic. They don’t simply disappear when childhood ends. They often follow people through adolescence and into adulthood.
These are programs running beneath awareness, responses shaped and reinforced over years of lived experience.
That does not mean you are broken.
It means your nervous system learned how to survive.
Your nervous system is doing what it was designed to do: protect you. Survival became the priority because, at one time, it had to be.
None of that makes you weak, defective, or beyond healing.
And what happened to you was not your fault.
Stay positive and take action!
Thank you for your support!
Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.
NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. It’s a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.
If this newsletter has help you in any way, please share it with someone you know that may be struggling.
