The Oil Leak That Wasn't a Big Deal (And What It Taught Me About Survival Mode)

The other day, my wife noticed a couple of oil spots on our driveway. I had seen them too. They were coming from my 2016 Honda Accord, the car I use for work.

I couldn’t believe it. This was my second Accord, and they’ve always been reliable cars. This one only had 49,000 miles on it.

Immediately, my mind went into worst-case scenario mode.

I decided not to drive it and took my truck instead. Throughout the day, negative thoughts kept popping up, but every time they did, I reminded myself:

👉 “I can handle anything that comes my way, one step at a time.”

I wasn’t going to spend the whole day obsessing over something I didn’t even fully understand yet.

When I got home, I started the car and crawled underneath to investigate (trying not to get attacked by fire ants in the process). I saw a slow drip, but it wasn’t coming from the engine. It was dripping from the protective metal plate under the car.

Turns out, it was probably just residual oil left over from the last oil change. Not a big deal.

But here’s the point: I had spent all this time and energy worrying about something that never even happened.

This is what we often do with life. We dread the future, the uncertainty, or the “what ifs.” We put ourselves into survival mode over something that hasn’t even happened.

And when we’re in survival mode, our body isn’t wired for clear thinking, it’s wired for survival. Our brain is basically acting like there’s a woolly mammoth chasing us.

But here’s the truth:

• Life is going to throw challenges at us.

• We won’t always have the answers right away.

• What matters most is believing we can figure it out.

When we stay calm, we think clearly and make our best decisions. When we panic, we shut down and spiral.

For a long time, I lived in survival mode for 20 years without even realizing it.

One of my biggest triggers is irritation. Something small will happen, then something else piles on, and before I know it, it snowballs.

I used to believe: “That’s just who I am. I can’t change it.”

But that wasn’t true. I had simply been conditioned by my trauma to react this way.

Now I know I can break that cycle even if it doesn’t always feel like it in the moment.

Here’s what helps me:

• Catching my thoughts. Reminding myself that my feelings will lie to me.

• Breathing. Deep breaths to calm my body.

• Taking a pause. Walking away for five minutes before coming back to the task.

You don’t have to live in survival mode.
You don’t have to be defined by irritation, fear, or worst-case scenarios.

You can change.
You can heal.
You can become the person hidden beneath the layers of trauma.

It takes awareness, intention, and practice, but it’s possible.

I’m living proof of that. And so are you.

Next time your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself: “I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

That belief alone changes the game.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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