What Trauma Recovery Really Requires

Choosing to be a Trauma Recovery Coach is difficult.

I work with people who have experienced severe trauma, people who are doing everything they can, every single day, just to stay alive. Many of them want to die. They would give anything for the pain to end.

That reality is heavy.

But it’s not scary to me.

I’ve been there. I lived there for many years. I understand what they’re going through, and I know I can help. I know I can offer support rooted not in theory, but in lived experience—through fighting my own trauma and my own demons.

I’m more real than I’ve ever been. I won’t lie about this work, and I won’t paint a rosy picture about healing from trauma.

It’s fucking hard.

Holding the Truth of This Work

I know that not everyone I work with is going to heal. I have to accept that.
I also know that some people I work with may take their life in the process.

That is a risk I’m willing to take in order to help as many people as I can heal from their hell.

And I want to be clear about something:

None of the people I work with are broken or defective. None of them.

Every single one of them has been through hell, hell caused by people they were supposed to be able to trust. That includes me.

The Lie of “If Only”

One of the worst parts of trauma is that we end up believing we’re somehow to blame for what happened to us.

If only I hadn’t put myself in that situation.
If only I had said no.
If only I had done something different.

We all carry our list of “if onlys.” And we convince ourselves that if we had acted differently, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

That’s a fucking lie.

I believed those lies. I believed the “if onlys.”
And honestly, it’s easier to believe them than to face the truth, that we didn’t have a chance.

That’s the struggle.

Why Thinking Doesn’t Heal Trauma

I can tell a survivor of sexual abuse, “It’s not your fault,” over and over and over again. But it doesn’t matter.

You cannot think your way to healing.

Healing is not an intellectual exercise.
It’s not about reciting affirmations until something magically changes.

That shit doesn’t work.

Affirmations can be part of the journey, but trauma healing is not cognitive alone. We have to do the work that teaches the nervous system how to feel safe again.

Trauma Lives in the Body

Trauma is stored in the body as much as it’s stored in the mind.

We are processing what was never processed.

And when trauma finally begins to move, it starts to leave the body, and only then can the mind begin to heal.

This takes time. It’s a learning process.

All the messaging out there that says:

• “Just think differently”

• “It’s all in your mind”

• “Get over it”

• “Let the past be the past”

That’s bullshit.

I know it’s bullshit because I lived it.

The Truth About Suicidal Thoughts

I didn’t have suicidal thoughts because I wanted attention.

I had suicidal thoughts because I wanted the pain to end, and I believed ending my life would end the pain.

That’s it.

It wasn’t about dying.
It was about escaping unbearable pain.

Why I Do This Work Anyway

Some people say I shouldn’t be coaching without a certification. That I’m not qualified to work with people who are suicidal, depressed, anxious, or traumatized.

I beg to differ.

What’s more qualified than having lived through all of it, and now healing from it?

What’s missing from a lot of mental health spaces isn’t credentials.

It’s compassion and understanding.

Judgment kills more people than anything else.

Compassion Is the Missing Piece

Compassion is what survivors need from others and from themselves.

That’s why I focus so heavily on helping clients build self-compassion.

You cannot heal without it.

We didn’t deserve what happened to us.
And we sure as hell don’t deserve self-hate.

The only people who should feel hatred toward themselves are the ones who committed the harm.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

Resources: For resources, my programs, or to schedule a 30-minute discovery call, visit my website by clicking here.

NEW: I’ve started a private Facebook community called Survivor to Thriver Community: Healing, Support, and Growth. This community is by invite only. I want it to be a place where survivors can go to receive support from others that understand what they’re going through. If you’re interested, please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you want to join and I’ll send you an invite.