When Everyday Tasks Feel Like Survival

Walking to the Bank and Out of Survival Mode

The other day, I had to walk over to the bank.

Yes, USAA has an actual bank with tellers and everything. It’s the only one, and it’s located at the home office in San Antonio.

In the three years I’ve worked there, I’ve only gone to the bank once. It’s not an easy trip; lots of ups and downs, bridges to cross, and parking garages to navigate. On paper, it’s just a walk to another building.

But for me, this used to be the kind of thing that would trigger fear.

The Trigger

My wife asked me to withdraw some money, which meant I had to go over to the bank. My first instinct was to push back. But I caught myself.

I could feel what was happening:

• I was slipping back into survival mode.

• Fear started to take over.

• Thoughts pouring in about how I might get lost or how hard it would be; the self-doubt started creeping in.

Logically, it wasn’t a life-or-death situation, but my body didn’t know that. After living in survival mode for years, the nervous system can treat any challenge as a threat.

Survival Mode in Everyday Life

For a long time, this was my pattern. If I felt fear or insecurity, I’d shut it down immediately. I’d say “no,” avoid it, or get angry.

• In the military, I didn’t volunteer for extra opportunities because it was already enough to just get through the regular stuff.

• At home, I’d avoid even simple requests, like making a phone call because of the discomfort it brought up.

I didn’t realize how much survival mode was running my life.

Even today, the thought of finding my way to the bank triggered that familiar, terrifying feeling inside.

In the past, I would’ve avoided it. I might have asked my wife to do it or found another way to get the money.

But today was different.

• I talked myself through it.

• I reminded myself that this was fear, not danger.

• I took a deep breath, and I went.

Yes, I got lost. But I asked someone how to get there, and they told me. And it took about as long as I thought it would. No real problem.

The Lesson

This may sound small, but it’s huge. This was a real-life example of what happens when you start healing:

• You recognize when survival mode is being triggered.

• You reframe the situation.

• You act anyway.

The hardest part is taking a step toward what you fear instead of away from it.

How to Work Through It

1. Recognize the Pattern

   Ask yourself: “Is this a real threat or just survival mode talking?”

2. Think logically About the Worst-Case Scenario

   What’s the worst that can happen? Most of the time, it’s not that bad.

3. Change Your Self-Talk

   Remind yourself: I can do this. I’m capable. I’ll find a way.

4. Start Small

   Don’t begin with risky or high-stakes challenges. Start with something simple, like making a phone call you don’t want to make, going somewhere new, or driving in light traffic.

5. Build Momentum

   Each small victory rewires your brain and retrains your nervous system not to treat every challenge as a survival situation.

Final Thought

We’re not cowards, we’re survivors whose brains are wired to see threats where there aren’t any. Healing means proving to yourself, one small step at a time, that you’re safe now.

You can rewire your brain.

You can calm your nervous system.

You can go from survivor to thriver.

So, what’s one small thing you’ve been avoiding?

Pick it. Face it. Start today.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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