When the Trauma Identity Creeps Back In: Don't Quit

I feel like I’ve been slipping a little lately, mainly this past week. I’ve been letting my old way of thinking, or my trauma identity take control a little bit.

I find this to be the case with my irritation levels. I can usually gage my whether I’m needing to calibrate or really start paying attention when my irritation levels change.

I haven’t been meditating consistently, and I haven’t been as focused on being present in the moment as I would like.

It’s always going to be a challenge. There’s so much to be distracted by and there are so many opportunities to fly off the handle.

That’s no excuse, but we must remain vigilant if we want to continue to win the battle. It’s a battle every day, make no mistake about it.

You don’t just start your healing journey, and suddenly, your problems or your past just disappear. No, it’s always lurking, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pop back up when you’re weak and vulnerable.

You know, like when you have an annoying co-worker that sits by you and acts like they’re the only one in the office? The one that doesn’t do much work and complains all the time.

Something like this will drive you crazy if you’re not careful opening the door for that old trauma identity to come out.

Another situation is when you’re in traffic and you continue to fly off the handle. You continue to repeat this every day, and it starts to flow into every area of your life.

These types of behaviors that we don’t think about our even worse, justify, are the ones that can keep us stuck in the past.

Again, it’s a constant battle and one that we should never underestimate or take lightly. As I’ve said in the past and I’ll continue to say it today, it’s a battle worth fighting, but you must be vigilant.

If you fall back into that trauma identity like I feel myself doing now, it’s okay, recognize it and then get back on track.

Start monitoring your thoughts again, take some deep breaths, walk away for a few minutes, meditate, journal, or do something that will bring you back to a centered state.

It’s important to find what works best for you and have a “go to” when you start feeling yourself slipping back into that trauma identity. Something easy to remember, something quick.

Remember, healing is not a linear journey. There are going to be plenty of ups and downs. The goal is to minimize the impact of the downs; to decrease the amount of time it takes us to recover from the downs. That’s the goal.

We’re never going to get rid of the lows, but we get better at handling them and pretty soon they don’t have much of an effect on us.

The worst thing we can do is give up when we hit a low point in our healing journey. I underestimated how difficult it would be to heal, and I made several attempts and quit several times.

This led me to lose hope and believe that healing wasn’t possible and that I would have to deal with what had happened to me for the rest of my life, to make the best of it. I would have to live a “good enough” life.

That’s a lie. You’re going to get knocked down, you’re going to have some rough days. You’re going to have days where it feels like you’re in the middle of the traumatic experience all over again. You’re going to have those similar feelings in your body, those similar thoughts, the victim mentality, all of that. It’s going to happen. This doesn’t mean it’s a sign to give up. It means you breath slowly through it and keep going. Take that one small step forward and keep going. 

You’re not alone in dealing with your struggles. It’s going to be challenging, you’re going to have bad days, you’re going to feel like your trauma is taking place all over again, don’t fall for it, don’t let it force you to quit or give up.

Through my healing journey, I’ve realized how strong I really am. I’ve realized that if I just commit to refusing to quit that it will continue to get better.

The last thing I ever thought I would be doing in my life is sharing my story on social media. I wanted to bury my past of sexual abuse and never think about it again.

I’m now sharing it with the world because I finally broke free from the bondage I had been in for so many years, and I want to help others do the same.

There’s nothing more powerful than sharing your story of going from surviving to thriving. People need to hear your story, they need to find there hope again and you can help with that by writing your story now.

I know for a fact that if I can do it, you can do it as well. I have faith that you can do it; I believe in you. It’s never too later either don’t fall for that lie.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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