You Are Capable of Making Change in Your Life

If you feel stuck in life, I completely understand.

I felt that way for many years and didn’t know how to change or that I had the decision to change.

I know it sounds crazy, but this is what trauma will do to you.

I had a toxic, negative mindset.

However, I’m here to tell you that change is possible.

It’s possible and it’s worth it.

When you decide to take on anything new in life, especially something as big as addressing sexual abuse, it’s going to feel overwhelming.

This is natural and you should not expect anything else.

After all, we’ve been living a certain way for a certain amount of time and when we decide to make a big change, it’s going to feel like going to a foreign country.

With that being said, it’s going to be a roller coaster ride when you decide to make a big change.

You’re going to have more bad days than good days when first starting out.

These bad days are going to make you second guess your decision to change, at least this was my experience.

One of the most important things you can do when deciding to make a big change in your life, is to sit down and write out your expectations.

Expectation management is what I like to call it.

Expectation management does not mean having a negative mindset or believing you can’t do something, it means being realistic about the journey, so you don’t give up.

You must expect the negative to occur.

You must expect the change you’re trying to make to take longer than you thought and for the change you’re trying to make be a lot more difficult than you thought it would be.

This is how it works.

When you’re going after something that’s going to make a major positive impact on your life, it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take a lot of consistent work.

It’s going to take showing up every day and putting in the work even on your worse days.

However, if you have a bad day and revert back to old patterns, you must have grace for yourself.

You must give yourself compassion if you slip.

Having compassion for yourself and not beating yourself up when you make a mistake is a game changer. We are supposed to make mistakes in order to learn. Go make mistakes!

What happens when you give yourself grace and compassion is you can show up the next day and get back to work.

What happens when you start putting yourself down and saying things to yourself like:

“I’m such a loser”

“I know I wasn’t going to be able to do this”

“I’m never going to change”

“I’m not cut out for this”

I’ll tell you what happens, you’re going to stay on your negative slide.

You’re going to want to quit and stop trying.

You can’t afford to quit or stop showing up every day. Your life depends on it. Stop thinking you have all this time, you don’t. Start acting with urgency.

The last thing you want to do is put yourself in a situation where one bad day turns into two, three, four, or more bad days and next thing you know, you quit.

This has happened to me so many times in the past.

I would read a self-help book and learn a few things.

I would try the new information I learned for a few days or so, have a bad day, and let my negative self-talk take over.

This was the end of any change I was trying to make in my life.

Again, take the time to write out your expectations for when you start trying to make a change in your life.

Have big goals for these changes but focus on getting a little better every day and not beating yourself up when you have a bad day.

Another thing that helps to stay on track and focused is to write out a detailed vision of how your life will change if you continue to show up every day and put in the work.

Having a vision is so powerful.

Having a vision gives you hope. Having a vision keeps you focused and moving in the right direction.

Write it out in detail and take the time on a regular basis to close your eyes and envision reaching that ideal vision of yourself.

Really visualize what it will look like and feel like when you get there.

This is powerful and the more you do it, the more it will seem within reach to you.

We’re human and have our senses for a reason, use them.

It’s powerful when you can tap into your senses when you're envisioning what your future can look like.

It’s not going to be easy, but I can promise you this, it’s going to be worth it when you start seeing progress.

Make the decision to change, have a plan, understand the expectations, and start going for it today.

You’ll thank me a year from now.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support!

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