You Can Change Your Brain

“If you can change your mind, you can change your life.” - William James

I’ve been reading a lot about neuroplasticity lately which is basically the brains ability to form new neural connections throughout life.

I’m simplifying this of course.

This is amazing to me and explains a lot about why I acted the way I did for so many years after my sexual abuse occurred.

This explains why it took me so long to finally face my past and start healing from it.

Neuroplasticity is amazing.

We have the ability at any point in time, to change the physical makeup of our minds.

The bad news?

This comes when you start challenging yourself or facing your fears and self-doubt.

We all have our ways in which we deal with challenging situations.

When you have a background that includes trauma, you develop ways in which to cope with the traumatic situation you’re going through.

It’s a how your mind protects you from what’s actually happening.

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it.

Our brain will find a way to protect us during the trauma and get us through it.

However, if you don’t shut this protective mechanism off once the trauma is over, it can work against you when you no longer need it.

I’m going to use my past experience to try and explain this better.

As you know from my past newsletters, I was sexually abused at the age of 15.

This took place where I worked and by the man I worked for.

Here’s the thing with sexual abuse, you never see it coming.

You never expect that your employer or a family member will ever do something like that to you.

It’s a shock to say the least.

You usually have a lot of trust with this person, which makes it even worse.

The only way I can explain what happens when the act itself occurs is you’re in shock.

It’s like your mind cannot process what’s going on.

So, what happens is, your mind protects you and goes somewhere else while the act itself is occurring.

There’s a term for this and it’s called dissociation.

Disassociation is, “A psychological phenomenon where a person feels disconnected from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity.”

It’s a way for the brain to cope with traumatic or distressing situations.

When the sexual abuse was occurring, I was not there mentally.

I was physically there, but mentally I was somewhere else.

I couldn’t process or handle what was actually taking place.

People want to know why so much sexual abuse goes unreported; this is one of the reasons.

It’s so traumatic and damaging that I didn’t even think about it after it occurred.

I forgot about that shit and continued to disassociate with it after it happened.

This went on the entire time the abuse occurred.

Now, I explain all of this to bring you back to my original thought; why we have such a hard time healing from trauma like sexual abuse.

I used disassociation during the abuse itself, and after the abuse.

I continued to disassociate myself when things got stressful, or I didn’t want to face something.

This became a pattern of behavior for me as it was never addressed early on.

These neurological pathways in my brain were constantly reinforced.

I read that you can think about a neurological pathway like a hiking trail in the woods.

The more people use it, the more wore down it becomes.

This is the same for these neurological pathways in our brain.

The longer you continue to reinforce a habit or a certain type of response, the more “worn in” that pathway becomes.

I didn’t want to deal with my sexual abuse; therefore, I continued to disassociate from it.

I continued to disassociate with a lot of things in my life.

This followed me into my marriage and raising my boys.

I had to give the Navy everything I had mentally because they continued to push me but when I got home, I would disassociate or zone out.

This neural pathway had become so ingrained in my brain that it was automatic, I didn’t even recognize it was happening.

“Change your mind, change your life.” - Joe Dispenza

So, here’s the thing, when you try to change and address your past trauma, it’s going to be very difficult.

I tried to address my trauma on and off for the better part of 20 years but kept going back to my old ways.

Every time I tried and failed, I felt like a loser.

I felt hopeless and that I would never be able to change.

These thoughts continued and now I was not only battling the pathways I created from my abuse, but I was creating new pathways from this negative thinking.

I say all of this to let you know that it’s going to be HARD when you decide to make a change in your life.

It’s going to feel like the world is fighting against you.

You’re going to fail sometimes, but you must not give up and you must guard your thoughts.

Have compassion and grace for yourself when you fail, get back up, and keep moving forward.

You’re battling against some established patterns in your brain, but the brain is absolutely amazing, and you can change.

It’s going to take small, constant actions to start changing those neural pathways that are keeping you stuck.

Each time you choose a new action, something new to learn, taking action in the face of your fear and self-doubt, you’re creating new pathways.

It’s going to take time, but it’s worth it.

I’m living my best life today and never had so much joy.

Stay positive and take action!

Thank you for your support and time!

You can learn more or schedule a free 15-minute discovery call on my website by clicking here.